Regarding 17 acts of kindness

An Open letter to my Child's school:

Good morning-  I just wanted to reach out and share with you all given the nature of todays events.  

I know that we are all in this together and ultimately we jointly want success and happiness and productivity for all these young people.

My intention is that this story be used if desired, but my child specifically remain confidential.

My kid started at ECMS in January.  He has sat alone at lunch every day since.  He recently got brave enough after two months to try to sit with some friends from class, whereupon another child shouted at him to go away which he did.

Walking through the school is really hard.  Lots of times groups of kids say mean things and laugh at him, pointing and everything.  He gets asked "are you a girl?"  "Do you want me to F*%#k you in the . . . "  

He's a regular kid, loves Minecraft and games, basketball and his pets.  He tells me those kids are stupid and goes on about his day.  He is much more concerned with retaliation for complaining than stopping these behaviors.

He's fine, I'm hurt.  I know that he will be ok, we are super involved in every aspect of his life, he has no social media access, and his support system and family will get him through.  

But not every kid has the backup he does, and they might not all be ok.  There is almost certainly another child, whose bullies get to go home with him on snapchat and instagram.  Another child who goes home to an empty house and hears those voices again without a caring adult to tell him they are wrong.

When he heard about and we discussed the 17 acts of kindness, it didn't really seem like it was a cultural, permanent plan to address the sad and the lonely kids, the kids who just don't know how to find a friend yet, because they're all little people learning absolutely everything.  

My hope is that the model of kindness as a solution continues to be pushed as an ideal, not just today on the month anniversary of the horrific event at Marjorie Stoneman, but as an absolute and continuous part of the school culture.  I know there are a million ideas and perfect plans to fix it all, this is not that, just a part of what I think we should consider.    

Thank you for your time,

Kerri Deitsch